Here is the text of an e reference query we received recently:
“I am not a fan of poetry - never have been, never will be. However, my 37 year old daughter has a MLS degree and is well read; she is on her deathbed with cancer. She can no longer read, but I would like to read her poetry or short stories for a few minutes each day. Can you recommend a book I might use? Thanks.”
Oh. Oh, dear.
I don’t know about you, but I felt inadequate to answer this question alone. Choosing words for someone else to go out of the world on seems a serious assignment to me, especially if you don’t know them. I asked my coworkers for their recommendations, then I called the man, since he had included his phone number.
“Sir? This is the public library calling. You emailed us for recommendations about what to read to your daughter.”
“Oh, yes,” he said. “I’m glad for your help. It’s….difficult to think at a time like this, and our tastes are so different.”
“I am so sorry, sir. Our staff who have been coming up with suggestions all have you and your daughter in our thoughts.”
“Thank you. I….appreciate that.” He cleared his throat.
I asked if his daughter liked nature (thinking Robert Frost, Walt Whitman), plots about people, maybe with a twist? (O.Henry), or animals (James Herriot).
“My daughter really loves animals,” he said. “I think she would enjoy stories with animals, as long as they are short.”
Aha. “James Herriot’s stories are about a country veterinarian in England. They are short and humorous, and really show the animals’ personalities, as well as their owners.”
He sounded relieved. “Oh, thank you, so much. That sounds like something she would really enjoy. It will be a pleasure to read them to her.”
I told him I’d gather the titles for him and put them at the checkout desk so he could pick them up when it was convenient for him.
“I’m sure I’ll be down tomorrow during my lunch hour. I read to her in the evenings, after work.”
The thought was wrenching for me, just as an observer. To work all day, knowing you would be going to your daughter’s bedside as she faded from life….
“Sir?”
“Yes?”
Deep breath. “Bless you, sir.”
He hesitated. “Thank you,” he whispered.
Why books, why read? Because books are a refuge when life hurts. They make us laugh, they make us cry, they give us a break from the pain and they give us hope.
Even on our deathbeds.
Perhaps, especially there.
I am crying.
You handled it incredibly well, you should be so proud of yourself.
Posted by: BabelBabe | August 03, 2005 at 03:28 PM
I'm delurking so I can give credit where credit is due. You folks do amazing work, and I really believe that kindnesses like this one are the best reason for libraries to exist. Books are wonderful things, but it's people that matter.
Thanks.
Posted by: Dreadmouse | August 04, 2005 at 06:39 AM
An amazing story. I hope that if I ever get a request like that that I can do half as well as you did. Dreadmouse has it right: it's the people that matter.
Posted by: David | August 04, 2005 at 09:25 AM
fgl - you did a great job.
I once had someone ask me for books to read to their sister who was dying. We worked together and finally settled on Little House in the Prairie. She later came in and told me that she and her sister got a lot of pleasure from the time they spent together reading. The reading provided a respite time for them.
Yes it's true that requests like this bring my heart into my throat with the fear I won't do it right, but what a credit to us as a profession that people trust that we will be able to help them with such important questions.
keep up the good work, I love your blog.
Posted by: Linda the Maine Librarian | August 04, 2005 at 09:41 AM
Very eloquent, you related that story with a lot of skill & emotion.
You and your co-workers probably helped that gentleman & his daughter more than anyone will ever know. My heart goes out to them both.
Posted by: TechnoLibrarian | August 04, 2005 at 11:45 AM
Thank you for this deeply moving story. You did remarkably well indeed, and I am typing with tears in my eyes. I am proud to be a member of your profession.
May we all do as well should the need arise.
Posted by: Barbara | August 08, 2005 at 01:19 PM
Thank you for sharing your insights and the story about books. This was very touching and so sadly human. I work at a reference desk also. Everyday I am profoundly greatful to help people help themselves. There is a spirit of kindness and caring that must pervade our profession if we as librarians are going to remain at the top of our game. Magic, and library love (agape) the highest form...we laugh, cry and curse at our fate right along with everyone we serve. Be There, don't let life pass you by!
Posted by: emort_al | October 14, 2005 at 11:06 AM