Feel-good Librarian

Shameless

I have a confession to make. Perhaps it is a celebration to share. The Feel-good Librarian finally has internet service at home!

It is an unspeakably luxurious feeling to post live from my bed. I have begun posting to my other blog again because I really can do it at the end of every day.

A word about that blog: it is a spin-off of the original Three Beautiful Things. I am so proud of Claire - with her blog, she has started a world-wide movement. There are now close to 100 spin-off blogs, all people telling about a few small highlights of each day, sharing simple, positive experiences. Three cheers for Three Beautiful Things!

Psst...

I don’t what was up today. Teddy Bear Man approached the desk. He was overcome by a pretty young woman sitting near him. He was smiling and waving to her, but unable to speak well. He kept apologizing, a little embarrassed.

“You’re fine,” I said. “No problem.”

“You always treat me so well,” he said, suddenly articulate. “You remind me of my Aunt Renee. That’s why I come to you so much. Why is that? Do you understand where I’m coming from?”

I was sort of stunned. How do sum up your personal philosophy for someone who may melt down in the next three seconds?

“I just think everyone is worthwhile,” I said.

He pointed his finger at me. “That sounds like something my Aunt Renee would say,” he said. “If she were here, she’d probably shake your hand and say ‘God bless you for treating my Boo-boo so good.’”

“Thank you,” I said, and he walked away.

Not ten minutes later, the head of Maintenance came up. He stops and says, “Hi,” and “Have a good day,” pretty often. Today he said, “I just wanted to tell you that you always seem very professional, and from my point of view, very helpful to the patrons. I wanted you to know that,” and he moved on.

It surprised me. You never know who’s watching you, I guess. It sort of made me feel like a piano was going to fall on me – people saying nice things out of the blue, like it was some kind of eulogy or something.

Can I just say it to you? You are doing a good job. You are helping people who may never let you know, but who appreciate your kindness. When you treat people with respect, other people notice. Someday, that smile you give someone will come back to you.

Like now. Don’t worry – no pianos.

I just wanted you to know.

And, of course - pass it on.

Crazy moon

It’s an old wheeze here by now, but the full moon – maybe in conjunction with May Day? – seemed to have an extra strong effect this month. People seemed to be unhinged – Teddy Bear Man was shaking and apologizing and groaning instead of speaking.

The craziness was coming thick and fast. First Mr. Hyperspeed came in. He was waving a pile of papers around, dropping them on the desk, on the floor, on the keyboard. He kept repeating himself, “The place closes at 6:30. I have 900 dollars in there, but can’t get to it – it’s embarrassing with people behind you in the ATM line. The woman said to call her with my email address and they’d send me a new PIN number. I gotta get an email address – the placesclosesat6:30Ihave900dollarsinthere....”

He was repeating this about three times a minute, flapping his hands and waving his papers and speeding up every time. I got him to an internet station. “Sir, this is where you sign up for email,” I said, trying to get him to sit down. “Can’t you do it for me? I don’t know nothing about computers.” “You need to give me the information, sir.” He flapped the whole pile of papers into my hand and said, “All my information is right there.”

We got him into Yahoo, got his name in there, figured out an account name. “Congratulations!” the screen said, “This ID is available.” He wrote it down at hyperspeed and jumped out of the chair. “That’s my email, right?” he asked. “I’m going to go call her and tell her that’s my email.”

“Wait, sir! We have to finish signing you up before it will register!” but he was already gone to the pay phones. One security question option is your father’s middle name. One of the papers he thrust at me was his birth certificate, which had his father’s first name, but not middle. I just used the first name – I didn’t know what school he went to or his favorite sports team.....

He came flapping back in. “That man won’t get off the phone,” he said. “I got to call them before 6:30...” He drifted off as I continued filling out the email form.

When I looked up, he was at the desk, using the phone there. I walked over with the pile of papers. “Here,” he said, thrusting the phone at me. “You talk to her.”

“Sir? Who is it?” I asked him. “It’s the credit card company,” he said. “Tell them I need a new PIN, they told me to call by 6:30 with my email address....”

I explained the situation to the woman and she said, “Can I speak to the card holder, please?”

Sure thing.

He finally finished with her and said, “I’ll be back in 15 minutes – she said they’d email me a pin. Thankyousomuchforyourhelp,” and he sped out the door.

In the 15 minutes that he was gone, Quiet and Classy Librarian was approached by a woman who was sort of glassy-eyed and shaking a little bit. “Where are your books for people who hear voices?” she asked.

I took a call from a woman who began with, “The library has never let me down.”

Uh oh.

“I have a new kitten. And I have a hole in my wall. The kitten went into the hole. How do I get her out?”

Wow. This is a library question? I guess so – someone is asking me....

“Have you tried putting down some fancy cat food? Maybe that would lure her out,” I said.

“Well, she likes cheese. But she just took the piece closest to her and ran back in the hole,” the lady said. “What about catnip?”

“Um, I don’t think I’d recommend that,” I said. “It sort of makes them go crazy.”

“Well, I’ll try the cat food, then,” she said. “Thank you.”

“Hithere,” Mr. Hyperspeed said.“Can you help me get into my email? Ican’trememberallthatstuffyousaid.”

He’s baaaaaack!

“Sure thing.” I sat down and got him into his email. “Here’s the message from the bank, sir.”

“Can you just read it to me? I forgot my glasses.”

Of course. I know his email password and mother’s maiden name. Why not his PIN, too?

He thrust the pile of papers back into my hand and asked me to write it down. I did, then asked if he wanted me to sign him out.

“Ohyesplease,” he said. “I really appreciate all your help. Can I buy you a soda or something for your trouble?”

Hm, tips at the Reference Desk? That’s just too crazy.

I’m glad it’s a month between full moons.

I'm guesting today

Hey,

I'm the guest poster over at Tame the Web today. Check it out!

Picking stone

Being raised on a farm has a few duties that no one is eager to do. One of them is picking stone. In the spring, when the dirt is turned over before planting, it seems that the first thing that sprouts is a new crop of stones. You cleared the fields the year before, but each year they return.

It’s important to get them out of the way. Young sprouts aren’t strong enough to move the heavy stones. It stunts their growth and sometimes kills them. So you bend over time after time, each stone getting heavier as you calculate the tonnage you must be moving and grumble about it under your breath.

One of the things I do is teach basic internet skills to seniors. The courage, commitment and perseverance of this group never stops impressing me. In the face of trifocals, small print, arthritic hands and lack of computer experience, they come in week after week, sometimes repeating the four week class three or four times, gaining a little more each time and somehow being encouraged by these small steps in what proves to be a stony field for them.

Add more stones for not knowing how to type and never having touched a computer in your life. One older African American woman in my last class wanted to make sure she was in the right class when she saw that others had had mouse experience. “Yes, you are in the right place,” I assured her. “We are going to start from the very beginning, with how to place your hand on the mouse and how to move it, don’t worry.”

This particular class was very animated. They went through the mouse exercises with precise concentration, not asking for it, but as we came around to help them, staying with the exercises and pressing on. One by one, as they finally made cut and paste work, they would yell out loud, “I got it! It’s in there! It worked!” - this woman included.

As the weeks progressed, she needed a lot of help, but continued to ask for it, to try, to stay with the class and do the exercises. On the day we were doing web searching, she seemed a little more hesitant, however. We had done Switchboard.com the week before, and she wanted to try some more with it during free search time.

“I don’t know if it’s because I’m bipolar that I’m having such a hard time with this,” she said, with tears in her eyes. “I just can’t seem to remember all the steps.” I gave her a tissue. “No, it’s not,” I said to her. “Just think of all you are asking of yourself here. You are learning something new with your body by moving the mouse, something new with your eyes learning how to look at the screens, and you are asking your eyes and hands to work together in a new way, too. Plus all the new words you are learning that go with the internet and computers.” She smiled a little, and kept on.

I was sad for her. Being bipolar was just another stone for her sprouting skills to fight.

Near the end of class, I looked up to see Intelligent Librarian handing her more tissues. Others were beginning to leave, so I grabbed the box and went over. “We need some more suggestions here,” she said as the woman dabbed at her eyes. “She’s looking for her kids. We have the towns, but it’s been awhile since she’s heard from them and we’re not coming up with anything just yet.”

“Ok,” I said gently. “What’s up?”

“Well,” she said, “I haven’t heard from my kids in almost ten years,” she said. “I’m also schizophrenic, and I think they just got tired of me and my illness. My doctor is so proud of me. I’m in the day program at Psychiatric Center and most of us just sleep, but I’m getting out to come here. I just wanted to find my kids and let them know, but maybe they wouldn’t care.”

Her kids would be my age and a little younger by now. Marriages. Grandchildren.

“I’m proud of you, too,” I said. “You are doing such a good job with this class. You are working so hard, I’m sure they would want to know.” IntelliLib nodded her head. Of course all three of us were using tissues by this time, and that made us laugh. She left the room, encouraged to come back for the final week, to repeat the class, and keep trying.

It broke my heart. Of course IntelliLib had covered all the free net resources that are available, and this woman’s time and resources, as well as abilities, were limited. But her courage and desire were not. If I can clear a few stones for her, I am happy to bend over and get what I can out of her way. God knows it is a small enough thing to do in the face of all she is dealing with.

Finally, this spring, for the first time, I am privileged to pick stone.

A hundred thousand thanks

Listen to the audio

Two years ago, I started to tell the true stories of one small middle-aged Reference librarian, sheltered safely somewhere in a Midwestern public library. Soon after, much to my surprise, and thanks most to Michael Stephens of Tame the Web, making himself his own rising star, the Midwest had reached to libraries literally around the world.

I can’t thank you all enough for reading. Everyone has a story to tell. But I actually get the satisfaction of knowing I am heard. You tell me I add something to your day. You tell me that I encourage you, help you go on, take that next step, keep trying for excellence in helping others.

Some people think anonymous blogging is lame. It’s the only way I know how to protect myself, my library and the poor patrons whose stories I tell here. But I am telling you now, there is nothing anonymous about this to me. That’s why I’m reading this one, to emphasize that I have a voice, I have a body, I am an individual person. This is me, sharing my personal experiences, receiving your feedback. There is nothing anonymous about walking through this life knowing that

I – me, this little person in this little life –

I – am the Feel-good Librarian.

You have changed the way I feel about myself in the world, knowing I am heard, feeling I am making a contribution not only to my patrons’ lives, but to librarians, people I respect and am proud to be one of, and to a career that I have loved since my first memories of a library at six years old. Through the cancer, your good thoughts and prayers lifted me up.

All I want to do is pass that feeling on.

Recently, the blog passed 100,000 hits. All I have to say is thanks. Thank you, Michael. To everyone – everyone who has read, everyone who has linked, everyone who has commented, lurked and come back for more: Thanks. A hundred thousand thanks for the excellent ride.

That, and this: go forth and feel good, librarians. And pass it on.

Loaded for bear

I looked up from the desk to see a dark-haired short guy blustering up to the desk. It was obvious that he was upset about something; not at me, or the library it turns out. But his irritation was immediately apparent.

“Here!” he said, pushing a piece of paper at me. “I heard there was a Kelley Blue Book website. Can you look that up for me?”

“Sure.” The paper had the year, make and model written on it. “Ok, that’s in. I need to know what value you want: trade-in, private sale or retail.”

“Oh, DEFINITELY trade-in value. I just came from the car dealer and they offered me basically nothing for this car. I KNOW it’s worth more than that.” The tall young blond guy with him was obviously his sidekick, and nodded vigorously up and down. I could almost hear him say, “Yup, yup, yup,” but not quite audibly….

We entered the zip code, options on the car and pressed for the figure. When it appeared on the screen, he exploded.

“SEE!!!” he shouted, turning to his friend. “They didn’t offer me sh—!” Turning back to me, he said, “They offered me $4000 less than that there on the lot.”

He began the long saga of his used car hunt. How he knew just what he wanted and asked for it, including price range. How the rep only showed him cars out of his price range. He was visibly swelling with outrage as he continued. How on the way out he saw the exact car he had asked for, in his price range, but had been told there weren’t any there.

“I work second shift, so I had gotten up early to car hunt. When I went back, I told them they had wasted my time. ‘I know how you people work,’ I told them. ‘You sell people cars they can’t afford, they default on the payments and you get your car back at some cheap car repo auction price and resell it.’ Well, it isn’t going to work with me. I’m going back there with this and rip them a new one.”

“Yup,” his sidekick said. I swear. “He will, too,” nodding up and down.

“Print it up,” he said.

“Ok,” I said, “Let’s check it one more time to be sure.” I had the zip code in, trade-in value indicated, not retail, all options accounted for. Sigh. Pushing print.

I didn’t try to explain that if people won’t pay a price, the car doesn’t have that value, that markets fluctuate and all that. He didn't want to hear it.

As I handed the paper to him, he flashed an evil grin and said, “THIS – is going to be fun.”

I don’t think I have ever felt so much like the information I was handing over was a loaded gun. And I don’t believe he's licensed to carry.

Classifying the Almighty

People come to the library in search of all kinds of information. For many of them, we are the last resort, last stop before the wasteland, so to speak. For some, it is more like, “Well, why not try the library? They know everything else….”

It is gratifying, of course, and completely unrealistic. I mean, we can give it a shot, sure, but God is a bit beyond our grasp.

One poor woman had heard a talk at a church and called us. Pet Lover Librarian spoke to her. “They said this is what God is like,” the woman said. “But how do you know?”

Pet Lover Librarian purchases the religion books. She has a lot of knowledge in the field, but this is not something you look up in a source and read to someone. “Well, there are a lot of things people consider when they think about God,” she said. “They sometimes start with one of the sacred books of their religion: the Bible, the Koran, the Bhagavadgita.”

“But how do you know what’s true?” the woman insisted. “How do you find out what God is like?”

PLL tried again. “People talk about experiencing God different ways,” she said. “Through prayer, or visiting holy places, or worship services. But ultimately, each person has to decide for themselves. That’s what faith is.”

“I’ll try,” the woman said. “It’s all you can do,” PLL told her.

Another young man came to the desk, doing research. “Can I get a photo of the founders of Judaism?”

Powerful Presence was helping him. “No, you can’t. They didn’t have cameras back then,” she said.

“Well, who did found it? It came from Christianity, right?”

“Really, it was the other way around. It was the Jewish priests and leaders - you know, Moses and the Ten Commandments,” she said.

“Well, can I get a photo of God, then?” the boy persisted.

For once, she was speechless. Later she told me, “I just couldn’t believe he was asking me that. I mean, this is God! God is….well, you know, God is a spirit, God is….You can’t take a picture of God!” She laughed. “I really wonder what church he goes to.”

Finally, I spoke to a woman who wondered if we had a certain book. “It was published long ago,” she said. “But it speaks to my experience with other beings.”

“I see,” I said. “Do you have the author or the title?”

“Yes. It’s called God drives a flying saucer.”

God, aliens, lost souls. There’s room for us all at the library.

The other side of the desk

Now, obviously, I have been in the hospital, not in the library. But customer service is customer service, and I experienced some five-second kindnesses from Feelgood hospital staff that I wanted to pass on.

Feelgood Surgeon came in before surgery and looked at my neck. “You don’t have any wrinkles now,” he said, “but I can see where you will have one. I’ll tuck the scar right in that line.” Then he moved my head around to make sure, and drew it with a magic marker, to show where to cut!

Feelgood Night Nurse asked if there was anything else he could get me. I hadn’t eaten for 30 hours, so I said, “You got any popsicles on you?” “Sure thing!” He reappeared two minutes later, with an orange popsicle – at 4 am.

Feelgood Lab Tech noticed my special surgery manicure (see photo). She took my blood, then stuck on a bright pink band-aid. “To match,” she said.

Feelgood Patient Care person came in at 6:30 am to take my blood pressure. I had been wakened every hour through the entire night and felt like I was about 93 years old, with bags under my eyes big enough for a dinosaur to fit in. She looked at my chart and said, “You’re 43? I can’t believe you’re 43. You don’t look 43….” I don’t care if she was lying – it was a kind thing to say!

And thank you all, for all the kind wishes, thoughts and prayers. It’s like the feelgoodness is multiplying and returning to hold me close. Thank you again and again.

A friend in need

As a customer service person, I am usually not comfortable asking for things. I am used to providing assistance, helping and encouraging people. I anticipate needs, ask follow up questions and provide current, historical and background information. Now, however, I have a request to make.

I found out this week that I have cancer. I don’t mean to be melodramatic - this is a good kind to have, if there is such a thing, with a 97 percent cure rate. After surgery, I have one-time chemo. My hair won’t fall out and I won’t be nauseous. I will be radioactive and in isolation, but only for a few days. I only get a week off work, so obviously the prognosis is pretty good.

On the other hand, this is the big C word that nobody wants to hear. I am nervous about the surgery and the following discomfort, about being on lifetime meds, and about glowing in the dark. So…..

Here’s my request: my surgery is Wednesday the 21st. If you can spare a good thought or a prayer, stand in front of your statue, touch your beads, light a candle or just think, “Gosh, I hope the FGL is ok,” I would appreciate it. I’m extremely ecumenical when it comes to blessings.

I will gladly return the favor, as I often give thanks for my readers, but here’s hoping I never have to. Good health to you all!